you turned your livingroom into a bong?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
