The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
