My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
