I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This is classic penis vs brain.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
