if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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