I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
