People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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