im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
