i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
