just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
