I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
