i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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