I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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