how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
