She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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