Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
