if you like me you must not know who I am
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
