): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
