so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
