Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
