He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
