if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
