Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Rumble strips road head = magical
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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