I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
