Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
