Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
