Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
