i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
