Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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