wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
