I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
