So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
