So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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