There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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