I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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