At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
