I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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