I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Say something about gay babies.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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