And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
