At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
