I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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