last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
