She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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