So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
