Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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