i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
