I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
