i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
