She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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