Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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